"Keep, ancient lands, your storied UX!" cries she with silent performance. "Give me your sick and tired, your annoyed, your alienated masses yearning to breathe free, the EDGEd refuse of your bleeding store. Send these, the homeless, telemetry-tost to me, I lift my repo beside the golden EXT4!"
Stop running a marketing platform and use an OS instead. If you need anything in particular, you can still run that Ad-ridden bugfest in a virtual machine.